It was a few weeks since I climbed lead so I got scared in the middle of the first climb! GAH!!! BUT… today I realized something totally unbelievably cool! I was so determined not to let my fear rule today so I continued to push myself to climb two different routes over and over again. My whole body was shaking, my whole mind was telling me “let go, give up, give up, give up!!!”… but still I just went on and tried to push away all that stupid nonsense.
Then suddenly, everything just turned around in my head. It was like my body got sick of sending out fear in my body when I refused to listen to it. My mind became totally focused and I only saw the next hold. “One more move, one more move”. The fear was still there in the background but it was kept in some kind of control! Don’t ask me how but that is what I felt! Totally unbelievably cool! Haha… So in some way I cracked some kind of code in my mind today! Which off cause made me very happy!! Now I know have to continue to fight with that one… some kid of breakthrough! J Awesome!!
After climbing I went directly to work to fight with another fear…. Put on and off the alarm at work! Honestly! It took me 5 minutes to dare to start the process to put the alarm OFF. Then I worked for a few hours, sitting in a totally empty dark office, listening to some goooood music. Totally nice! After that I spent another 10 minutes staring at the paper with instructions how to put ON the alarm again. Then I just did it! :P Let me say, I THINK everything went ok… we’ll see when I go there tomorrow! Hopefully everything is in order… I totally fought that fear too anyway!
AND by the way… the reason for working on a weekend is TOTALLY ok… Me and Karthik is leaving Sweden for a long weekend on Tenerife Thursday to Sunday….. that’s why I am working in some hours this weekend! J So you have some nice sunny pictures and reviews on the climbing on Tenerife to look forward to for next weekend! J
Finally! Found a new brutal dubstep song… crazy good!!
Have a nice weekend! J
For me, hummin' a happy tune is the best way of switching between "fear mode" and "focus mode".
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one! Thanks! :) Next time... Yesterday they played REALLY nice music at K2 in the morning... that helped a lot too! :)
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